Things That Make This Bear Go Hmm

…”there’s someone waiting for you..”

That what my friendster horoscope said..
’someone’ eh? Well…I’d be lucky if I can spot this ’someone’..
But then again, I’ve been relying myself a lot to luck.. someday it’ll run out
and who knows what’ll happen to me then…

So, before it runs out, guess I have to rely on luck once more..
C’mon, find me that ’someone’.. Not that I’m desperate.. halfway but not yet..
I just long for that so-called emotional roller coaster… The thrill to make one feel alive..
and for that, I’ll walk to that corner.. whoever you are, stay put!

BB
Another Time - Lifefusion

Yesterday I rummage my hard drive and found quite an extensive collection of my previous design works..
Some are my works from my time at PC.. being my first ‘real’ office..
The other are works from various places and people…

Actually I’m not a real graphic designer, meaning that I don’t have a proper training as a designer…
I learn my tools by myself.. so I can’t compare myself with Fr for instance..
Fortunately I’ve a little talent, a little mind you… and that helped a lot
at least, I can say that that talent opened many doors for me..and that alone worth many many more that the money that I got from designing…

I really have to thank Mnd and Im for their unrelentless kicks… they’re the ones who gave me the key to first door…
For that, I’m eternally indebted to them…(although I’m sure that I have paid them in full by submitting myself to their tortures)

Anyway, I’m thinking of compiling all of my works to make me a portfolio… I’m sure that it’ll come in handy.. especially in times when money is tight…like right now..

BB
Realm of Love - Lifefusion

One of the things that I fear most is to lose a friend…
…and lately I’ve experienced many things that.. well, close to losing a friend..

I don’t want to lose a friend… especially in a way that’ll leave some kind of a grudge..
..but now..now I realize that sometimes, we cannot always have our friend sticking up with you all the time…

There will be time when something fall in between, and separation is inevitable..
Yes, of course I knew that…

But until that day comes, I hope I can keep every friends I have and put as many good memories as I can with them…
..maybe that’s all I can do…

BB
The Boxer - Simon & Garfunkel

Man, I’m exhausted…
The last couple of days seems like a reminder
of days to come…
Although it may not the same,
but I guess it’ll be harder…

Well, maybe that’s what people called ‘professionalism’…
To give it all to what you’re doing…
110% of your effort…

The thing is…
I don’t think that I’ve given my 110%…
Maybe around 70…or less…
I’ve got to do something about it…
Lest I’ll be the one picking the pieces…

But tonight…
Tonight…I have to recharge…
I’m burned out like a candle…

BB
Finding and Believing - Pat Metheny

I feel like standing on the edge tonight.. Looking below me, an endless pit…

Aah, what am I thinking? I made sound like the end of the world.. .. for the fact is, it’s only a little part of life’s game and am playing it to the end…

Do what I have to do.. ..and live..

That’s right… I’ve been doing it wrong..

I just have to let go.. Open my eyes and laugh it out Then wait for the next train to arrive..

It’s going to be a wonderful day tomorrow.. ..for everyone..

I don’t know why, but lately I’ve been listening to this particular song…
Really, I wonder why…
Oh, the irony…

———————-
Nothing Better - Postal Service

(Boy) Will someone please call a surgon?
Who can crack my ribs and
Repair this broken heart,
That you’re deserting.
For better company.
I can’t accept that its over.
And now I’ll block the door,
Like a goalie tending the net.
In the 3rd quarter.
In a tie game rivalry.
So, just say how to make it right.
And I’ll swear I’ll do
My best to comply.

Tell me am I right.
To think that there could
Be nothing better
Than making you my bride,
And slowly growing old together.

(Girl) I feel I must interject here.
You’re getting carried away
Feeling sorry for yourself.
With this revisions,
And gaps in history.
So let me help you remember.
I’ve made charts and graphs
That should finally make it clear.
I’ve prepared a lecture,
On why I have to leave.

(Girl)So please back away, and let me go.

(Boy)I can’t my darling, I love you so.

(Both)Oh oh..

(Boy) Tell me am I right.
To think that there could
Be nothing better
Than making you my bride,
And slowly growing old together.

(Girl) Don’t you feed me lies
About some idealistic future.
You’re heart won’t heal right
If you keep tearing out the sutures.

(Boy) I know that I’ve made mistakes.
And, I swear I’ll never wrong you again.

(Girl) You’ve got a lure I can’t deny
But you’ve had your chance,
So say goodbye.
Say goodbye.

re·sign (rĭ-zīn’)

v., -signed, -sign·ing, -signs.

v.tr.
To submit (oneself) passively; accept as inevitable: I resigned myself to a long wait in line.
To give up (a position, for example), especially by formal notification.
To relinquish (a privilege, right, or claim).

v.intr.

To give up one’s job or office; quit, especially by formal notification: resign from a board of directors.

[Middle English resignen, from Old French resigner, from Latin resignāre, to unseal : re-, re- + signāre, to seal (from signum, mark, seal).]

re·sign’er n.

I don’t know why,
but all this month I kept having butterflies in my stomach
As if in anticipation of things to come…
..but what things?

I can tell that it bothers me so..

Maybe, just maybe that it have something to do with that phone call or SMS that never come..
It’s getting nearer to the day and still no word..
I’m tired of waiting..
Maybe I should just get up from this lousy chair and actually do something about it..
..but then again, maybe I can just sit and finish The Battle of Middle Earth. Kill those Rohirrim!!

-bb
A song by NIN, forgot the title